How Do You Tell Your Partner About Your Affair

LeVel Thrive Experience
LeVel Thrive Experience

How Do You Tell Your Partner About Your Affair

The normal way to deal with your affair is to keep our mouth shut and care that your partner will not know about. It is true that having an affair despite having a love relationship is very degrading, mostly to you. You will be branded as someone untrustworthy and mostly bombarded with ridicule, especially from the person you cheated; and once you’ve lost your partner’s trust, it might take a while to get it back, or never.

Why blurt it out?

Your AffairTruth be told, telling your partner that you’ve had an affair is no laughing matter. If you ask your friends who knows about your situation, they will brand you as someone stupid or looking for trouble. But we all have our reasons.

One reason for telling may be due to our guilty conscience since most of us are gifted, or cursed, with it. We may suffer from sleepless nights or bombarded with constant worry if your partner finds out about it. Such mental stress might affect both your work and even possibly your soon-to-be-ruined relationship unless your partner is a saint.

Telling your partner about your affair is quite hard, and there’s no proper or easy way to say it. Predictably, their reactions to it would be quite negative and downright scary. But if you really want to get it out into the open then you might try these methods out.

Staged confession

One way of telling your partner about your affair is to leak the information to them. Now this might be a cowardly way to do it but as I mentioned before, there is no better or preferred way in conveying your infidelity to your partner.

You can coach your friends to leak the information to your partner, or maybe send them an anonymous message saying that “he is cheating on you”. The obvious reaction from this is a direct confrontation with your partner, with them doing the opening speech. It’s up to you if you want to spill the beans right there and then.

One advantage of using this method is that you won’t need to do some rehearsal to your speech regarding your confession of your affair. You can just say “yes” and let them do the ranting and try to explain as the arguments progresses. But the disadvantage is that you might find this method too degrading since you did the act in the first place then you should know by now the consequence of it. Be a man for once.

Be direct

If the method I mentioned above is too subtle and complicated for you to handle, or even degrading, then you can just stand up to your partner and tell them the whole story. Nothing you will ever do, even how much you change the fact or twist the tale, the fact still remains that you still cheated. But before you say the fated phrase, try to make sure that the mood is quite calm between the both of you.

The opening speech is usually the determinant factor of the result. Since most of us would have a valid reason why we cheated; like how our partner was very insensitive to our needs or how they fail to provide you with emotional and sexual satisfaction. Opening this to your partner might very well open up their mind why you cheated in the first place, and might lessen the feedback if possible.

The consequence of your action

No matter how eloquent you are with your confession, you will still face the consequence of your actions. Some might be ready for it since they have a definite reason for having the affair in the first place, while some will just be adamant that they’ve done nothing wrong.

But this situation is not altogether without its merit. Telling your partner about your affair might prove your honesty and even your trust with them regarding this relationship issue. Some would say that your confession is reason enough that you want to continue with the relationship, and is a clear indication that it will never happen again.

When having an affair and you have this urge to open it up with your partner, try to keep this old adage “Honest is the best policy” in mind. No matter how much you change the route of the delivery; you will still arrive at the same destination. Have courage and spill it and face it like you’re supposed to.

In my book “A Woman’s Guide to Forgiving Infidelity” you will find how I overcame what was the biggest shock of my life.

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Christina Young (The Healing Heart Coach) is a passionate, loving coach who helps women through the pain of relationship challenges, divorce and life after divorce. Christina is an author of “A Woman’s Guide to Forgiving Infidelity” and “Love is a Rollercoaster” Christina is called on by the media for advice and has been on radio in the UK and USA and interviewed on TV. Having gone through her own personal relationship challenge she understands exactly how painful it can be. Christina knows how life can be when you come from a place of love and forgiveness. Christina is also helping people live a healthy life through the Thrive Experience.