Being There: Why Prioritizing Motherhood in the First Three Years Matters
Welcome to The Nancy Ferrari Show! In this episode, I introduce you to is Erica Kosimar. She is the author of the new book “Being There: Why Prioritizing Motherhood in the First Three Years Matters”. Erica is a clinical social worker, psychoanalyst, and parent guidance expert who has been in private practice in New York City for the last 25 years.
A graduate of Georgetown and Columbia Universities and The New York Freudian Society, Ms. Komisar is a psychological consultant. She brings parenting and work/life workshops to clinics, schools, corporations, and childcare settings. These include The Garden House School, Goldman Sachs, Shearman and Sterling and SWFS Early Childhood Center. She lives is New York City with her husband–optometrist and social entrepreneur Dr. Jordan Kassalow–and their three teenage children.
In this provocative title, Ms. Komisar asserts that the increase in the incidence of mental illness and developmental disorders in children correlates directly to the increasing disinterest in and devaluing of mothering in society. Drawing on neurobiological research along with established psychoanalytic theory, Komisar makes a bold-faced point: that both a mother’s emotional and physical presence in the first years of her child’s life have a monumental impact on a child’s ability to grow up emotionally healthy, happy, secure, and resilient.
In our conversation, Erica shares some valuable information:
- Why 3 months of maternity leave is not enough and what to do about it.
- How to combat feelings of postpartum depression or boredom.
- How to provide for a child’s emotional needs in the first 3 years. Doing this regardless of whether you’re able to pause your career to stay home.
- What’s true and false about the belief that “babies are resilient”.
- The difference between a Mom and Dad’s ability to nurture a child based on how we produce oxytocin, known as the “love hormone”.
Erica goes on to share her observations of the increase in childhood depression, increased ADHD and other psychological issues that have manifested in children and what we can do to help them develop into healthy and balanced adults. Ideally, mindful presence by both parents in their child’s development, as well as early adolescence is essential.
“Timely and highly informative. This rich amalgam of science, clinical wisdom, and common sense represents a Dr. Spock for the 21st century, and is quite simply the best book I’ve ever seen on this absolutely essential topic” ~ Allan N. Schore, Ph.D, Department of Psychiatry and Biobehavioral Sciences, UCLA, David Geffen School of Medicine
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