When Love Hurts: A Woman’s Guide to Understanding Abuse in Relationships
Welcome to The Nancy Ferrari Show! In this episode, I introduce you to my featured guest, Karen McAndless-Davis, co-author of her book WHEN LOVE HURTS: A Woman’s Guide to Understanding Abusive Relationships. Karen is herself a survivor of abuse and is the Director of Connections. This is an agency which provides individual and group counseling for women who have experienced abuse. It also provides individual and group counseling using the women-centered approach presented in When Love Hurts. Both authors, Jill Cory and Karen McAndless-Davis bring together ground-breaking research and poignant personal accounts to help women reflect on their experiences from a new perspective. They help women unlock their own wisdom and see the strength and courage they already have.
By drawing on the reader’s own wisdom and that of the many women’s stories shared in this book, WHEN LOVE HURTS can help people experiencing abuse to find the answers they’ve been looking for.
Karen shares that abuse takes on many forms as the abuser moves between honeymoon, tension and explosion. It is a pattern of behaviors intended to control, coerce and manipulate another. Within her book, Karen shares a graph of the “cycle of abuse” and the many facets within the 3 phases.
Karen suggests seeking out a women’s support group is instrumental is moving forward away from the abuse. This is based on her 2 decades of working with women who suffer within an abusive relationship. Couples counseling can be counterproductive. The abuser can continue to abuse their partner over something that was revealed during the session which can escalate. She also encourages women to be persistent with finding immediate help if their lives are in danger and seek shelter. However, shelters don’t always provide the help needed to rebuild one’s life.
“You are the expert of your life”. The book shares that only you know what you are dealing with. Your circumstance is not to be diminished nor dismissed by anyone.
“When Love Hurts” is a practical guidebook. It can be a supportive and nonjudgmental friend to those who don’t know where to turn. It’s filled with stories from women who have been in the same position. By drawing on your own wisdom and that of the many others who have shared your experience, “When Love Hurts” can help you find the answers you have been looking for.
“Every woman who is struggling to understand the mistreatment she is experiencing in her relationship should begin by reading this wonderful book” ~ Lundy Bancroft, author of Why Does He Do That?
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