CAN DEMANDING CHILDREN AFFECT YOUR MARRIAGE?
Changes in life are inevitable. Today you are single, tomorrow you are in a romantic relationship and the day after that you are already married. And after marriage comes the little ones.
Having children is considered to be a very big change in a couple’s life. You have only been worried about yourselves and now you both have somebody who will need your affection, love and care. The changes brought by this event that you even have to reassess your lives and have changes in priorities. If so much changes can be brought by a crying little bundle of joy, how much more if they have grown bigger, older and more demanding?
Once your baby has come to the right age wherein he or she can already speak and think for himself or herself, more changes will occur. Your love relationship with your partner will be nothing more than a figment of the past. Children, especially demanding ones, will have a very big impact on your romantic and intimate relationship with your partner as well as in your married life.
Children’s Demands: More Time!
Even as babies, children have always been demanding especially when it comes to the subject of time. Without even saying it, babies will always have your time and attention visiting him or her every once in a while to check their condition, feeding for at least every two hours, changing of diapers etc. And all of these can happen during your rest periods and in the middle of the night.
As your baby grow older, their demand for time also becomes greater. Toddlers are prone to accidents such as falling and slipping. Because of this, more time is given to look after them. When the toddler is ready to go to school, more time is needed again because you need to facilitate your son or daughter in a brand new environment. The point here is as your child grows older, the more they need the attention and time.
How does this affect your marriage? Remember that your partner is also human. They also have the need to be cared for and to be loved. And doing these will take some of your time. But if you have all of your attention and time allotted for the children, your partner tends to be neglected. Will this affect your marriage? Of course it will!
Children’s Demands: More Money!
Rearing a child in this world is not a simple and easy task. Aside from your precious time, having children also costs money and lots of money. From the diapers to the milk and from the crib to the clothes, money is needed. Just like with time, as child grows older, the demand for money is also much greater. This will become very evident once your child starts going to school. Children become more demanding for money when they become adolescents wherein peers and camaraderie are very important. The most demanding stage of children for money is when they decide to go to a university.
This demand of children for money can truly affect the marriage. It has been proven that money is one of the many topics of argument for couples. With children coming in, priorities just like in the budget will have some several important changes. If the couple can’t quite clearly cope with this new situation then it would be possible that a once very intimate relationship can turn to a bad relationship.
Children’s Demands: Supervision – Can Cause Conflict Between Husband and Wife
It is given that you and your partner have different backgrounds while you were growing up. The rules you were accustomed to may not be the same rules that your partner has been accustomed to. You may be lenient on one thing but your partner is not and vice-versa.
These differences may cause conflict in your love relationship and marriage. For example, you want to establish a rule for your children that they should not stay up late but your partner does not want to impose such rules, then there is conflict which may start a heated argument. Conflict between married couples when it comes to the demand of children to be supervised is quite normal and can be easily ironed out.
Communication and knowing that no one teaches us how to be parents, we all do the best we can however demanding the child is. One thing I know for sure is that it makes life in the long term so much easier if as a couple you can stand united, children have a way of playing parents off against each other. Even if you do not at times agree with your partner in the long run it will make both of your lives easier!
As a mum I did not always get things right, now being a grandmother I can step back and see what areas I could have improved on, also I get the chance to support my daughter and her family.
Would you like help with your family dynamics? Contact me for a 30 minute free consultation.
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