Are You Living With a Victim Mentality?

Are You Living with a Victim Mentality?

Are You Living a Victim Mentality?Old-fashioned melodramas featured hapless heroines who always seemed to find themselves tied to a railroad track or evicted from home into a fierce storm as the villain twirled his oily moustache. Only a white-hatted hero or the cavalry could rescue them as they cried, “Woe is me!”

Times of stress or a need to respond to fearful situations can stir up the victim in all of us.

No one likes to think of themselves as victims. It’s not a fun thought. I have found throughout my life that I have lived in that mentality. It serves a purpose for a time being yet it isn’t a place to stay. Do you agree?

Here’s a Thriving quiz to help you see if you’ve been carrying around a victim mentality that may be robbing you of your sense of personal power. Answer true or false to the following statements.

T /F – My first response to a setback is to blame someone else for what’s happened.

T /F – No matter what I do, things are not really going to change for me.

T /F – I often find myself beginning thoughts with phrases like “I can’t…,” “I’m no good at…” or “I’ve never been able to….”

T /F – When things go wrong, I tend to beat myself up.

T /F – Sometimes I’m lucky, but when bad things happen it’s because I messed up.

T /F – When angry, I rarely begin sentences with “I.”

T /F – Conversations with friends are often about how hard my life is.

T /F – When friends offer advice, I usually counter it with “Yes, but…” since they can’t know how difficult my situation really is.

T /F – I spend a fair amount of my time thinking about past failures and mistakes.

T /F – Other people usually cause me to feel the way I do. I’d be more centered if it weren’t for them.

T /F – I’m always so busy with work and the things I need to do to survive that I just don’t have time to do things I want to do for myself.

T /F – I’d like to exercise more and eat in a healthier way, but I just can’t right now.

T /F – If I weren’t tied down to all these obligations, I could really do some of the things I always think about doing.

T /F – Someday I’ll find a new partner who will really change my life. In the meantime, all I can do is hope.

T /F – I must have done something really horrible in a past life because nothing I do ever works out.

T /F – If only I had had more support, I could have… (fill in the blank.)

“Victimhood” is usually a way of staying stuck in old patterns and can be an externalizing way of dealing with unacknowledged anger or fear of change. If you answered true to more than a couple of these questions, chances are you’d benefit from a closer look at what’s happening in your life right now.

Getting curious is a wonderful way to discover new ways of being. Let’s get curious together.

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Author’s content used under license, © 2008 Claire Communications

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Brenda Reiss loves coaching women who want to move from living a life in recovery to the passionate possibility life is meant to be using her wisdom & certifications as a Radical Forgiveness ® coach, Soul Journeys ® Akashic Record consultant & Heal Your Money Story Coach. Brenda is a lively inspirational speaker and author who loves to connect with people, hear their stories and help reveal the patterns and places keeping women stuck so they can gain clarity for the forward movement they are seeking. All the while discovering the gift of freedom from a beautiful forgiveness process unlike any other.

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